Just recently, the Raven Report, Sequoia’s very own Journalism class, has gone out of print due to a strike. The quality of food provided on production nights was cited as the cause by the striking editors and reporters. Members of the Raven Report have created constant madness in the classroom, demanding better food.

Production nights occur after school, near the end of the editing process of each issue cycle. Editors and staff reporters can come in if they need more time to finish up their articles, and everyone scrambles to get them ready for print. Food is provided as a treat, but many editors claim this food to be “mid”. Consequently, no one bothers to show up, and many articles are unable to be finished in time for print. The editors-in-chiefs (EICs) have not been happy about these protests that have gone haywire as they are continuously trying to form a compromise with the staff.

“The editors are too greedy and needy. We already give them enough food. They should be grateful,” EIC Allison Wang said.

For some, the food that is provided just won’t cut it, as most of the time it’s only greasy pizza. Some request more exquisite food options.

“I will not come to production nights unless there is a hibachi chef. Do they really expect us to work for free? I want some fancier food,” staff reporter Caroline Sieling said.

Staff reporters and editors have been constantly teaming up on the EICs, shaming them for doing such a horrible job.

“I only just joined the class for the food [on production nights] and the pizza is always so trash. Screw this class,” editor David Raymond said.

On behalf of the Raven Report, due to the recent chaos building up in the classroom, we have decided to shut down the class for next year, and possibly forever. We had lots of fun throughout the year (not) interviewing and reporting, but it’s time for one last farewell. 

(This article contains satire)