Haters gonna hate … but they really shouldn’t


To all chronic complainers, hardcore haters and bitter blamers (you know who you are):

You hate him or her. You absolutely despise that person. Also, you hate every single one of your teachers. Apparently, they never teach you anything, and they suck at explaining the concepts. You hate Sequoia. According to you, It’s more of a prison than a high school.

Now, you hate me because I’m I’m calling you out on your absurd animosity. No, you’re not passionate. That’s not the same as being fiery and hostile towards every person, place and thing on this planet. People get tired of hearing you whine and rage all day. Do something productive with your time, and cut out the senseless contempt—it’s a total waste.

However, hating is more than just a popular means of procrastination. It’s mentally harmful as well. When you spend the whole lunch period verbalizing your frustrations, you’re telling yourself that you’re powerless to change anything. For example: “OMG, I hate this class! I never get anything, and it’s all my teacher’s fault! The grading system is so stupid! And she hasn’t prepared us at all for today’s quiz!”

Not only are you refusing to take responsibility for your lack of comprehension in class, but you’re also saying to those around you and yourself that you can’t do it. You’re doubting that things can be different; even more, that you can be different. Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck found in her research of “mindsets” that one can either have a fixed view of their personality and believe that intelligence is static, or have a growth mindset and believe that intelligence can be developed.

This one complaint may seem small, but imagine what your self-esteem will look like after a year’s worth of self-mourning. Yammering 24/7 supports the stagnant, fixed mindset teachers are constantly trying to drive out of you.

Don’t misunderstand me. Being negative isn’t wrong; being incessantly negative, however, is going to get on everyone’s nerves, including yours. Like many things in life, moderation is the way to go. Hating and hating day after day is a futile, time-consuming and energy-draining ambition that only serves to drive others away from you. Ultimately, it will dampen your mood and self-respect.

Hating is a bad habit.

How do you deal with it?

Break it.

If you have ideas for change, take action. Do not merely grumble about school or friends or teachers. If you’re having a hard time, ask for help—in a way that doesn’t ruin the great day other people are having. You may not understand anything in class, but that doesn’t give you the right to complain. Instead, make use of the resources you have. Talk to your teacher (and keep your opinions of him or her to yourself). Ask your friends questions, too. I know for a fact that they’ll be far more willing to assist you in whatever you’re facing, rather than pretend to listen to your multi-hour-long tirade.

Feel free to make a fuss if you hated this article. Unlike your friends, I won’t stick around.